Tag Archives: life

The Weather Reverted Me To Write!

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It has  been a long time, I did not write or  spoke my heart out whereas writing  is my  biggest  strength. At times I do think when we were small we  used to write  diaries and  hide it  around when there was no secrets; but now life is all about scary practicalities but we are brave enough to  write it  so openly.

Though  there is not much but the  dread of  growing up, the life and death scares you. Well, In Pakistan it is winters. obviously the winters are gloomy for  me. Closed fans, no noise just  an effect of hibernating haunts the inner me.

Yesterday 1.NOV.2018, it was the  first winter rain of 2018. I like rain and rain makes me sad as I miss my father the most, in  rainy weather. Once when I had him  rain  had the most pleasant  effect on me but now it is  all different. Though I Like it, but my eyes utterly get wet and nose red.

Well not the thoughts in writing but I slept really  late or can call it morning after the  morning prayer I slept. The day was different, I had tea with  mum around 4AM and then Wrote some ones research paper just on  having a  grip of writing. I slept with mum.

The morning was good, calm with rays of  clouds and  no sun rays. I woke up by the mid day and worked along mum, had  a little fight in love with my  bro Ahmad  and a side by  side  talk with Ali and Sidra and then I cleaned my room and now leaving behind the cell on charger. Listened to a few  old bollywood numbers, missed baba a little more and  I thought to write to  write the day-out. Where i m not thinking  what I am typing  but just  what my  fingers  are typing. May  be all useless, but wait  Nothing is useless  in this world.

Though suffering with unemployment these days, as  media downsizing is over the globe but I have a optimistic grip.

I am a Happy girl..

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Happy Birth Day Baba

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Dr. Masood Hasan Zaidi – 25sSep1962 To 17July2014

Happy Birth Day Baba,

I wish to hear the phone ringing for at least on his birth day; calling from somewhere so i can wish him on his day & listen to his voice.. I though too much about you today, looking for you in the air, sensing your fragrance around. Missing you is nothing new, i thought about you yesterday and the day before that too. I think of you in the silence, even utter your name in order to talk to you, when people hurt i long for you..All i have are the pictures full of life.. Though i long for or fresh pictures at every moment.. Each of my achievement is incomplete without you. I look for you in the sky at the brightest shining start at night.. You have left along number of great people yet no one can replace you because nobody else got the childhood i had. Those vary memories so vividly present in my flash back. It is the memories that keep me strong and head up; in front of every living creature, who even say a lot to me directly on the face because they think i m alone and you are not with me, but they are unaware of our bond..
When i was your i had you as protection over head so nobody had the grit to speak over
Now that i am a grown up i have your emotive shadow always around that keeps the satanic thoughts of the people far away from me baba, yet they are non belivers of love.
It is nothing more than a lovely unbreakable bond. 
May you be happy wherever you are, may you read what i write for you, may you come feel the pain i suffer on the birth days though mine or yours… Lots of Love, Jia

#Fatima Hasan Zaidi

Life Transforms

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About 2 to 3 years back the gist of shab e barat was the happiness to fire crackers ( patakhay), sending dozens of messages to whole contact list . When the neighbors used to shout out loud, I always though I will never leave the things I do now, by the passage of time those activities left me or may be I left them. Prayers and praying for other to the Almighty Allah seems more energetic..  Somewhere between tears and smiles, confused between I will never grow up. I grew up.

# Fatima Hasan Zaidi

All in the crowd I long for you

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Life has become more confused as it was never before. Never I  had watery eyes at times of happiness but now I  don’t understand how to happy when a part of me is always in search of him.. The memories do not stop having flash backs from the past. I feel him along but I can’t see him, I miss him much.. I  am not able to control myself even in crowd all of a sudden the memories makes me burst into tears and nothing can help.

By: Fatima Hasan Zaidi

LOST IN HERSELF

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I knew girl a few months back who was such a lazy, sleepy girly that she used used to sleep all the time. Whenever anyone asked; the answer used to be might be sleeping, she is sleeping, sleeping of course or just about to sleep. But then as her dad passed away everything changed. She lost her dear baba and she was lost in herself. She lost the way she used to sleep, everything changed and all is that she about her baba along the breaths she take. She communicates in the air assuming baba to be with her and listening to her voice and dreadfully even at nights she is unable to sleep. All she does is try to put herself to sleep by calling baba and asking him that Baba

Bohat der ho gai hai, Jia sona chahti hai, Jia ko aak sulaa dein…

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Translates: It is too late, Jia wants to sleep coma and put her to sleep.

I miss you a lot baba.

Jia is my pet name..

BY: Fatima Hasan Zaidi