Monthly Archives: March 2018

I Am Broken


I m not a depressed person, I am  one  fun loving person I never took tensions not even in final exams nor  after  attempting the  whole  paper  like I did not  know what i  wrote in there, and even then when I used to  return  home i  used  to  say  I  attempted it to the  best assuring all I will be scoring  highest where as within it was  always  sure to  me that I was zero.

I loved living care free not  thinking what  will  happen in future. I  clearly thought what will come  will be  tackled well with my father along. My utmost support, who  believed in me. No doubt  mama believe in me the  same  but still deep inside i  feel broken glass pieces in myself which i can not  communicate with any one. Not even to myself all in return I  have is headache and lots of tears.

Later  as  he passed  to the eternity. Life was so unfair, that was the point I realized how  difficult it is to live. Having a home is  more than  a blessing, yet how to  make it stand  strong is the thing. I  know  i m writing  nonsense but  this  is the only  place I  get  relaxed after writing. I can’t show  my tensed  tears and  breathing to  my mom..

This  blog  is  not  as  social  as I m on  facebook so  nobody knows  what a  heartache  i  go  through thinking  all the time to work  n  work  more. Small  freelance tasks to  take in and being  an  equal  support  to mummy where as not  showing  to  her I  get  equally concerned, i know  baba you  read what i write but my  miss  you  so much.. more than an  hour  of  nonstop  tears and  blocked  nose. Yet staying  firm in front of  people  is  so  hard. I  don’t  say  I  m strong I  say I am a joker.. Heart is pounding hard like it  is  at  the  moment  pumping  in  my  head and I  wont  be  able to  write  more I guess I  m better  after writing a bit but  still my eyes hurt and I  cant communicate  what i  have  inside