I m not a depressed person, I am one fun loving person I never took tensions not even in final exams nor after attempting the whole paper like I did not know what i wrote in there, and even then when I used to return home i used to say I attempted it to the best assuring all I will be scoring highest where as within it was always sure to me that I was zero.
I loved living care free not thinking what will happen in future. I clearly thought what will come will be tackled well with my father along. My utmost support, who believed in me. No doubt mama believe in me the same but still deep inside i feel broken glass pieces in myself which i can not communicate with any one. Not even to myself all in return I have is headache and lots of tears.
Later as he passed to the eternity. Life was so unfair, that was the point I realized how difficult it is to live. Having a home is more than a blessing, yet how to make it stand strong is the thing. I know i m writing nonsense but this is the only place I get relaxed after writing. I can’t show my tensed tears and breathing to my mom..
This blog is not as social as I m on facebook so nobody knows what a heartache i go through thinking all the time to work n work more. Small freelance tasks to take in and being an equal support to mummy where as not showing to her I get equally concerned, i know baba you read what i write but my miss you so much.. more than an hour of nonstop tears and blocked nose. Yet staying firm in front of people is so hard. I don’t say I m strong I say I am a joker.. Heart is pounding hard like it is at the moment pumping in my head and I wont be able to write more I guess I m better after writing a bit but still my eyes hurt and I cant communicate what i have inside