Life has become more confused as it was never before. Never I had watery eyes at times of happiness but now I don’t understand how to happy when a part of me is always in search of him.. The memories do not stop having flash backs from the past. I feel him along but I can’t see him, I miss him much.. I am not able to control myself even in crowd all of a sudden the memories makes me burst into tears and nothing can help.
By: Fatima Hasan Zaidi
I was sitting calm under a perfectly blended blue sky with a writing pad in my lap,a pen in right hand and as I started to take in and out the oxygen; tears rolled down my cheeks wordlessly then got absorbed in the skin. Well this is a natural process happens with everybody but nobody ever went in its deep detail.
During it in between a secondment millions and millions of thoughts crossed my mind and one of the most heart rendering thought was that I thought I am alone, I was thinking about the stuff and then I wanted to communicate with baba not in the sense as people say that baba listens do me but i wanted to hear his voice talking to me..
Thinking it, the flow of tears increased. Suddenly I heard flip flop of the paper, attention diverted as if the paper of the notepad was trying to speak to me in that moment of silence I Looked at it and began to roll the pen over the page, jotting down my thoughts and as I wrote the feelings; it started to feel better.
Though even then I was unable to hear baba but his voice redeemed in my mind. By turning the page eventually the pen stopped rolling over and the notepad’s page kept blank as if it said, it can not bear the flooding eyes and the love between a father and a daughter as some thoughts stay in head as no one can answer them except the one you are looking for and I am just a page to help you feel better but can’t bring you back your baba.
I was depressed about it and suddenly I found my self lying in baba’s lap where I felt the warmth of vibrant blazing colors as the whole scenario happened between we two. I was happy and instantaneously I opened my eyes to hug him and then got to know, it was a dream.
A beautiful Dream.
By: Fatima Hasan Zaidi
I knew girl a few months back who was such a lazy, sleepy girly that she used used to sleep all the time. Whenever anyone asked; the answer used to be might be sleeping, she is sleeping, sleeping of course or just about to sleep. But then as her dad passed away everything changed. She lost her dear baba and she was lost in herself. She lost the way she used to sleep, everything changed and all is that she about her baba along the breaths she take. She communicates in the air assuming baba to be with her and listening to her voice and dreadfully even at nights she is unable to sleep. All she does is try to put herself to sleep by calling baba and asking him that Baba
Bohat der ho gai hai, Jia sona chahti hai, Jia ko aak sulaa dein…
Translates: It is too late, Jia wants to sleep coma and put her to sleep.
I miss you a lot baba.
Jia is my pet name..
BY: Fatima Hasan Zaidi
Life is uncertain, it happens when we are unaware that we will get birth on a land and then will be loved by people then they become an important part of our being.
I belong to a dignified man, Dr. MASOOD HASAN ZAIDI who was a senior govrnment servant; Consultant Anesthetist in Benazir Bhutto Hospital. Where he served the humanity by his profession he served the land of the brave as well, known as Pakistan as a devoted child of Pakistan by curing the injured and showed the devotedness of a true Pakistani; every year.
As August started, he required a badge to put on his shirt while going on duty to BBH Rawalpindi clipping it on shirt was an obligation, ‘phuljarri’ was his favourite and listening to national songs around the month and I being his daughter followed his steps along.
This year, it is all so different as he passed away to the eternal world suddenly by heartattack on 17 July 2014. This sad demise of my father left me in craving nothing in the month of August.
Today, as his memories flew by my side I remembered the August last year and the lightening near parliament house. No doubt he gave me beautiful memories and I am nothing without him. All the time he asked me to care about Pakistan, to make it prosperous but left me with his uncountable wishes for the nation.
My days and nights are differnt, I am without baba but being his daughter will fullfil his desires.
So I thought to put Pakistan’s flag for you because I love you.
Proud Pakistanis, we are 🙂