Category Archives: Burning Thoughts

I Am Writing Because I Have An Urge To

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I Am Writing Because I Have An Urge To

So, my last post on the blog was written in November 2018 and since then it is a long time; almost 6 months. It is not that during the period I stopped writing but I could not post in detail over here.

Well, I wanted to jot down a complete wedding scenario and life after it but time runs short. No doubt I will do so but this is just a quick recap of my 6 unwritten months.

By the end of December 2018, I got married (So much to write upon it but some part of it brought tears to me.) Soon after the wedding, lets say exactly 8 days after my wedding got an interview call and job on the spot that made me work 9am – 5pm. Had a short 2 days mini honeymoon sort of thing and then came to know that I am expecting.

This was another twist in life, suffering through morning sickness and what not and most of all at such a moment when you miss your father. It is a completely different story.

What more the job was a 3-month contract got over with the twists and turns because I believe that female boss is the one who does not want you to grow. Still, then I worked a lot for the National Assembly of Pakistan despite people did not like it.

Next, I  got employed in Maroof International Hospital, for a month and I left and somehow that’s a story of an unethical doctor to work with ( Will write in detail about it too- disclosing his name too.)

So, now I am at home. Still to say not unemployed. I am working as a freelancer by being at home and writing for a magazine as an Associate Editor and looking after our event management business. Still looking for a full-time job as sitting back home is not my piece of cake.

Life is good, all is well but all in all, I miss my home daily mama, Ahmad and the time I spent there and most of all I miss baba. And then it is Ramazan, the fifth of it after baba’s death so these days are difficult for me. Once away from home, second his absence haunts me more and more but over the night it gets worse. I couldn’t sleep the flashbacks surround me. I keep on reciting the Holy verses but nothing helps and then the pregnancy hormones triggers too. So these days it is a mixture of everything.

I slept so disturbed that I thought to write just because I know writing for the need to relax your muscles is the only cure I can do to myself. The urge to write remains strong.writerfromheart

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Masood Hasan Zaidi Deficiency

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Masood Hasan Zaidi Deficiency
It's the father's month

“It’s the father’s month but mine rests in peace.” Fatima Hasan Zaidi

Every year the beginning of the June was so joyful. I had plans of how to surprise him on Father’s Day and after he left the start of the month and the month itself is so depressing.

I miss him each passing day but at times the desire to touch him, to be wrapped in his arms, head on his chest, his palm on my head, his voice uttering my name is so strong that no other thing and no other being can fulfill his absence.

As the  days are passing by, I am encountering success, with each successful moment. I miss  him even more.

In crowd, in the moments of merrymaking; my eyes wander to and fro just to have his look around. I stop at places I smell his fragrance.

Every such day, or a month enlisting such days; is a throbbing reminder of his deficiency in my life.

My father was like a Vitamin to me and now I have his absence as an utter deficiency. This JUNE is more upsetting than rest of the June(s) I was  through after he traveled to the World Hereafter.

To the extreme it happens to me that  Eid, Holy Celebration and Father’s day; both are falling on day after the other. the depth of my pain can only be understood by the ones who have lost their loved ones.. I  or any human loves to live in illusions so even that  we know one day we all  have to  travel  to the God, the  heart  does not  except the absence of a person at the moment from our life.

Where as I strongly  believe that missing someone makes us alive that the one  we love  breathes with us and is along. Condolences never make me feel  good.

“What I believe in is what I know that is what my father gave me in heritage was ‘ The Power of Dominance’.” – Fatima Hasan Zaidi

Being Melancholic!

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Being Melancholic is a feeling that each person experience at any rate once in their lives. Since life has its stages there are times when it will make you tragic or even discouraged. There are times in life when one feels down and encounters stuff that makes them hopeless. Much the same as bliss however pity doesn’t keep going forever on the grounds that in the long run the satisfaction will return as life shifts stages. Much the same as it isn’t  day or night perpetually or Winter or summer always there is no bliss of bitterness that keeps going forever. Everything takes a break. One feels pitiful in the event that they lose something or somebody valuable to them, or if things don’t go how they imagined them or they come up short at something or something different.

Sadness differs from individual to individual; a touchy individual will probably get tragic in light of the fact that their emotions are effectively harmed however it doesn’t imply that the individuals who are not as delicate won’t ever get pitiful. It is a feeling that can totally change what you look like at your general surroundings. Sadness can make you so negative that you can just spotlight on every one of the negatives around you. A few people don’t need others to try and realize that they are experiencing a harsh stage throughout everyday life and these individuals tend to hold every one of their feelings inside which escalates the sentiment since it is eating that individual from within. But at least I  can write to feel better.

 

 

Mystically Mysterious Love !

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Mystically Mysterious Love !

Mystically Mysterious Love By FHZ

And then certainly at night she realizes, she has nobody to talk , nobody who could listen what she wants just the tears roll down her cheeks as darkness prevails around..

Argues herself !

Nobody taught u to fall in love..

It was a fairy tale like

No, it was beyond my control.. She answers

She desires just a little to communicate, just because don’t want to lose..
She knows love has made her selfless & she is helpless because when she talks to herself..
The inner soul just says to her either leave yourself or try to end up selfless.
She is afraid of the fact of staying alone without him..
Because she cant imagine to live that way..
Depth of emotion tells unless it is not painful you can’t call it love..

She replies, Love is for once, it has been done, wont happen ever again..
Throw hands up in the air and says LOVE YOU, it’s irresistible.

It is mysterious

It is really love .. She answers                                                                                                         As, it has made you; , a crazy soul to write about sensitivity of a feeling..

Love is mysteriously mystic!

She answers, Yes I am in

Mystically Mysterious Love !

Copyrights © Fatima Hasan Zaidi

 

Equality Is As Blind As Love

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We all are liars. Generally to make people believe us we use the term that we all are equal. Equal for the man kind or as sent by the God all equal. It  is  just another way of  satisfaction, but  the  reality  is  always different and  believe me.

Life is not a fairly-tale it is  a reality and  reality  is always sad! – Fatima Hasan Zaidi

Finally  surprised I m  at  myself because knowing a lot  of things I always kept  myself in an illusion. well I still do. Just  because all the  times I  do  not  want to face the anxiety  attacks.

So I  prefer  not  to  bother  about  what  is  the  next  outcome  of the stupidity  I  m going to do right  at  any moment. As I  want to fully enjoy  the life I have. Indulging  my self  in illusions keep  me  away  from negative thinking though.

Same  it is  we  often hear that  love is blind. So, is equality but the  only  difference is that, people who  fall in love; fall for each other  despite knowing the specifications about the other. It is something so pure that has no answer to  the  question that

Why did  you  fall in love?

Loving someone does not get you  into  the  details of caste, creed, color, face, height, weight, religion, sect etc. It happens  out  of nowhere. That  is  why, it  is  said that  love  follows  no  religion. Animals we love follows  no religion too. Love is all about selflessness. This is  what  love is to me…

Keep  your eyes  here, soon I shall post  in verses  that  what  is love but love  demands  equality. I know writing  here  I am  not  specific  about the  heading  I  stated above But I write to escape  the anxiety attacks I go through.